Dealing with BPD: Effective Tips for Handling Someone’s Lashing Out

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a complex mental health condition characterized by unstable moods, behavior, and relationships. It can be challenging to interact with someone who has BPD, especially during episodes of lashing out or intense emotional reactions. However, understanding the disorder and learning effective strategies can help manage these situations better. This article provides practical tips for dealing with someone with BPD who is lashing out.

Understanding BPD

Before diving into the strategies, it’s crucial to understand what BPD is and how it affects a person’s behavior. People with BPD often have an intense fear of abandonment, unstable relationships, a fluctuating self-image, and impulsive behaviors. They may also experience intense emotional reactions that can last from a few hours to a few days. These reactions can sometimes lead to lashing out, which can be distressing for both the person with BPD and those around them.

Effective Communication

Effective communication is key when dealing with someone with BPD who is lashing out. Here are some tips:

  • Stay calm: It’s important to remain calm and composed, even if the person with BPD is not. This can help de-escalate the situation.

  • Use validating language: Validation can help the person with BPD feel heard and understood. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with their behavior, but acknowledging their feelings can help calm them down.

  • Set boundaries: It’s crucial to set and maintain healthy boundaries. This can help protect your mental health while also teaching the person with BPD about acceptable behavior.

Seeking Professional Help

Professional help can be invaluable when dealing with someone with BPD. Therapists and psychiatrists can provide strategies and techniques to manage the person’s behavior effectively. They can also provide support and guidance for you, which can be beneficial for your mental health.


Dealing with someone with BPD can be emotionally draining. It’s essential to take care of your mental health as well. This can include activities like regular exercise, maintaining a healthy diet, getting enough sleep, and seeking support from friends, family, or support groups.

In conclusion, dealing with someone with BPD who is lashing out can be challenging, but it’s not impossible. Understanding the disorder, effective communication, seeking professional help, and self-care are all crucial components in managing these situations effectively. Remember, it’s not your responsibility to fix the person with BPD, but understanding and implementing these strategies can help create a healthier environment for both of you.